Ears Loses Appendix; Draws Ire of Internal Organs

The Associated Press is reporting that "Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville underwent a successful outpatient appendectomy Wednesday in Florida."

Good for you, Ears! I wish coaches could still text recruits. I can see it now.

OMG my tummy dont hurt no more lolz stichs r itchy

Much like Brandon Cox's presence at Auburn, nobody really knows what the appendix does. BUH-DUM DUM!

I can't help but imagine what the conversation was like inside the bowels of Tuberville's innards.



Large Intestine: "Appendix, you aren't trying to uhhhh ... leave the organs are you?"

Appendix: "No way, I love it in here."

Small Intestine: "Thank goodness, we want you around forever. You may not do anything, but we like you. You look important."

Pancreas: "WHAT ARE YOU ALL TALKING ABOUT OVER THERE?"

Kidneas: (in unison) "LOUD NOISES!"

Appendix: "Listen, the only way I'm leaving is in a pine box."

And there he went. He left via some shiny, metal tool that doctors use, not in a pine box. The appendix is a traitor, and shall be shunned and booed every time he returns to the midsection area.